Pick yourself up!

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I’m having a calming, relaxing Sunday trying to cover the soft bubbles of worry under the surface.

Let’s start on the smooth side, I grew up with Sunday night being a highlight of the past week and preparing for the new week. It’s kinda still the same, only the thought processes and responsibilities are different.

So here I am, remembering my week, the good, the bad, the current with my delectable spread and bubbly. I’ve been planning this meal since Monday, looking forward to the moment. And so here I am, perfect date night on my lazy boy with Jason Mraz. Need I say more? Mhm

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Then the rough part, our family got thrown a rock late last night with brother’s health taking a different turn. We were all shocked and didn’t know how to react to the situation. I cried, grandma cried, mom cried, I can only imagine how brother is feeling. We question everything, including Gods hand on the situation. Humans do this, regardless of anything. And then we either choose to take a step back, breathe and say, I can’t control this situation, or,,,,,,,,,? yeah well, I’m not going the other route now.

My heart goes out to my parents as church folk who had to get up this morning to minister to their community, regardless of how they feel. I had planned to go to church followed by my first meetup gathering. The idea of cancelling crossed my mind, I wish I had 2 hours to sulk and crawl into a hole, I had 30 minutes of breakdown,  put on my big girl panties and be a grown up. Luckily I was able to do me and my task, returning to later finding myself back to sulking again. And then? Shook it off to continue with life. And honestly, I’d rather have this than not doing me and life at the same time. 2 mini meltdowns in one day is probably okay right? And as I ended number 2, I asked one friend who happened to check up on me that very moment to say a prayer and send good thoughts my family’s way. I do believe in the energy of people, I don’t need to share too much detail, it’s a case for goodness, that’s all.

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But here I am, Sunday evening reflections, because I want to, I have to, For me, For those I love, For those I care about, and more importantly, for my Soul! The good sigh just came out, I’m calm, I’m okay, and tomorrow will be better. This week will be better, why would I wish for anything else? Fuck that shit, fuck off somewhere else!

Care to dare feel good and hopeful!

Love and light, to a new week. Soar!

In health and wellness,

Love, Charlene

 

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I’m Busy, Im Very Very Busy

Hey! Long time no write!

So this is by far the most popular line I’ve used since 2017, it usually comes paired with the How are you question. What do I mean when I say, I’m busy:

Im not Bored

-Im Alive and Active

-Im actually Doing shit – I mean stuff

-My Life has something going

-Im trying to Distract myself from negativity or even delayed gratification (YESS)

-I don’t want to be Bothered

-Im Working on my Empire

-Im becoming a Better Person

-Im Building a Brand from scratch

-Im trying to Swim not Sink

-Im working on the Self

-Im trying to Focus

-Im F…. Fabulous

-Im Im Im….

But when I say this, I have a feeling people feel sorry for me. Busy can be a good thing too, as you can see from my reasons.

For the past 2 weeks I’ve been overwhelmed with everything thats happening around me and others close to me.

The same thing happened last year. My work period is usually starts from August and my year ends around January, i know this is rather strange but this is China, we rule the world. Wait, is that God or Girls? Just kidding, relax. I remembered, Beyonce said ‘Girls, we Run the world and God is the world. Fair enough.

To the point, this helping soul started some new side projects – all still in the foundation phase. But if you know me, I always have an idea or vision up my sleeve. Damn diversed as hell and creative as Picasso. Credit goes to the ex for saying yes to the many crazy ideas i’ve shared with him and also for me watching him do his business over the years.

Oh yes, the overwhelming feeling. It comes when you aren’t sure about your priorities, when you’re trying to help yourself last and others first and when the focus is low. Confession: Ive been working 98% and socialising 2%. Sometimes that socialising is semi work too, social scientists never really rest. I know so many people, but I have been keeping myself to myself, for very valid reasons.

Anyone of my good friends can tell you I love me some socialising and entertainment,  but one thing is for sure, nothing new starts from you not ploughing your foundation well, doesn’t it? At the same time,  as a wellness enthusiast I’m all for doing things in harmony. The only balance I have in my life is with my meals, i think life shouldn’t always be balanced, another post for this.

But sometimes during the busy periods, there is something called, DISTRACTION! in my case, its my mobile phone. In China, this is your golden tool. You can’t do anything without your phone, literally! Im not joking. We also have our powerful app called ‘wechat’ that we use as our main source of social media and also for payments EVERYWHERE. Cardless – paperless transactions from the mall to the streets. A few places still take cash, very rare though.

So once I’m on the phone, it gets difficult putting it down and not being distracted by another app, message, post etc.

Change is inevitable! Last week I made the following improvements:

  1. Continue having my morning routine.
  2. Learning not to touch my phone when I wake up in the morning (the summer vacation caused this, i used to have this habit out of the way) Waaa, You caused it Charlene!
  3. Reading a book on productivity.
  4. Reading a beginners guide to mindfulness. This is VERY close to my heart and soul.
  5. Doing a 21-day goal setting challenge.
  6. Will start a 21-day meditation practice from next week. Always wanted to, but never got there.
  7. I have my list of projects and tasks listed on sticky notes (I’m a kinaesthetic -visual person) on my noticeboard.
  8. I’ve mind mapped all my projects on the wall.
  9. I’m timing myself – something new. (basically give myself timeslots to do something)
  10. Make sure I stay in contact with my family, even if we talk about the expensive petrol prices
  11. Took all my full-time and part-time teaching supplies to the office, the job should be done in the teachers room, not at home, thats the plan.
  12. Every day I get to have mobile free meals too, this will improve with the mindfulness practice.

To you I’m going to say, I’ve been here before, and you too. So,

Now this may sound rigid, but trust me it isn’t. And did you forget that I’m still human, mistakes happen.  I don’t want to slip up – i want to keep going but i can’t predict things. Projection is better than Rejection.

I’ve listed what I see as the important things I’m working on for self improvement. I didn’t even list my work. So you see, I’m really busy and the best part is I’m enjoying EVERY single phase of growth, development and change.

And on that note, I’m going to end off by saying, I’m proud of me working to what is now 5.5% of the big goal. Don’t stop – Wont stop! And here’s the workspace at the moment.

Until next time. Under my …ella, ella ella.

Char