Do you ever sit down to ‘checklist’ yourself?
If so, how? Based on what? When? And of course, Why?
I’m sitting in the library studying and all of a sudden I realised how my life has been going.
(Some background info; I had an interesting negative emotional rollercoaster week and at lunch with friends we had a good stimulating chat. There are always lead up events that stimulate shit. If you didn’t know this – know it now. Nothing just happens – nothing!
I started thinking about my physical development, my mental- emotional development, my life stages, my personal growth, my life experiences, my losses and gains (losses first cause they teach me lessons, gains are the rewards for doing You) etc.
Now I’m at the stage of evaluating how I make my decisions, what motivates it? What lead to it? How important is it? Did I evaluate and think of alternatives, more importantly did I pray about it? Did I consult important people?
All of the above matters.
And then I noticed and realised a pattern, one that I’ve claimed I’ve eliminated, yet it is still full in existence.
So I’ve Worked worked worked for a better tomorrow my whole life. Worked so much that I keep moving from plan to plan, goal to goal, drive myself like crazy cause I need to be bla bla bla…. and guess what? I follow similar techniques. Sorry girl, it’s time that you realise that these techniques in 2018 with your current lifestyle just won’t work. Check yourself real well baby girl.
And then boom! Lightbulb went off. My dear Char char, you can’t jump from one thing to another. A year ago I made a life changing decision – still in the process of completion. Two weeks ago I made another decision – quite a big one. But what I realise now was making decision no. 2 came out of fear, not having enough faith. Faith in God, faith in myself and my future. I still want to do it but right now I have to complete the first one. I have to sit down and evaluate my decision a little more, because I need to take many things into consideration. Seriously, I can’t just drop no.1 for no. 2! If I want to build the habit of completion I have to live it. Ay ya ya! Stop, Slow down and smell the roses along the way. Just take a deep breathe in and out.
You are following the same fast-paced rushed style from the past. You claim to relax but you’re so stressed that you’re studying in the last month of exam – after having months to prepare (honest confession).
So I obviously need to improve my time management and less fear about some things in life.
And another thing, after having this way of thinking for 38 years doesn’t mean I can 100% change my brain within a few months. Take Your Time. Why are you even Rushing?
Take Your Time to enjoy your freedom, take your time to enjoy you, take your time to be you. The rest WILL come.
Anyway, that’s me – today – now.