Sometimes when you(me) have really great moments it’s so glorious, I can’t even describe it. And in those glorious moments nothing (not even coffee) matters. I’m so serious. In that moment you make decisions like, I don’t even need coffee. Well, I’ve actually given away the full pack of coffee I bought in Vietnam, was simply too bitter for me. Besides, I was not going to have Vietnamese coffee with condensed milk every day (Sugar coma). My current regular pack is on its last, I’ve decided not to get a refill because I’ve just received 2 packs of artisanal mixes from the Philippines. That second while I’m in the high, I also decided to not buy coconut milk anymore – I threw out this mornings cup cause the taste was not very appealing. And in that instant I decided, having the good coffee outside will be a good treat again. Still on the good buzz, I high 5 myself in the mirror, and do a quick body loving moment. Mhm, yes, thigh muscles, I see you making your way, keep on coming out, haha.
And my bedtime story was Michael Singers voice telling me to stop trying to do the like and dislike thing and learn to be present in both. Mhm, I hear you, good night.
And then the next day, you got your daily tasks in your head, you know what you’re supposed to do, you’re cool with everything until Bang! Work computer decides to fan, laptop issues, silly delay at home. So now you’re like, okay, next thing on the list. Then you’re trying to get people to join an event, because you want them to share your joy in this activity, and in your mind you’re saying, ‘oh my G! This is going to be awesome for them cause they need this. I want them to really experience this. And you literally stop in your tracks, pause your own action to take on what isn’t your responsibility. Partially you feel responsible because these people are part of your group. And then you’re faced with the disappointment of people not taking interest. Mhm, and you take it personal. The 1st: What’s going on?
You go home to have your lunch, and while walking home you do the hungry test, on a scale from 1-10, how hungry are you? You get home and you’re on 7, you eat.
Then you have your lunch and while doing that you’re on your phone (the biggest sin) dealing with the laptop issue. You’re still trying to resolve the pre-lunch issue and right now you’ve added another one. Yikes! And here comes the 2nd; What’s going on?
Meanwhile, you’re just ignoring these questions, and chowing away. But little angel on my left ear says gently, for the 3rd time, What’s going on? You stop to give everything a quick preview, like watching a movie trailer……
It felt overwhelming, I got up, had a glass of water, took a deep breath, packed my bag. I need coffee in a good place. (Uhm, this morning I through out the coffee cause the taste was really bad). So I’ve told my brain that I deserve a good cup today, I don’t need to settle for something that tastes bad. And off I went.
I arrived, had two looks at the chocolate mousse cake and there I was.
And my question came back, What’s going on? And the biggest level of guilt came over me. Charlene, calm down and start slowly. And I did just that. I sat there for a minute and just relaxed.
And the answers came, from the first to the very last. And I felt the guilt swift away, because I’ve answered all the questions. This was about the first time I’ve dragged myself out the house for coffee and cake in ages, (well I planned for coffee). Uhm, also period day 2, I won’t continue on that issue. But but but, I know exactly where this comes from.
I sat there and completed 3 of the things on my list, left heading straight to the 4th and finally a 5th one, with the help of someone.
I’m glad I answered my questions, I’m glad I dealt with my issues as it unfolded, I’m glad I completed my tasks today.
Calmness has reached my inner soul after the storm.
Don’t stop asking the question and remember to answer it yourself.
Today’s major lessons:
1) Remember, even if you only touch one soul, that is enough. Don’t worry about the masses, they will follow. (Remembering this for the next few weeks).
2) Last nights message was crystal clear, learn to live with the likes and the dislikes
3) As long as you can stop, recognise and acknowledge why this is happening, you will become wiser at dealing with the next episode.
4) Learn to remain calm and continue taking care of your day.
(Late post, Monday’s events)