A journey of a lifetime

So the trend in the past few years have been, My journey. I’m on a health journey, a renewed journey etc. Even me I use it, cause I’m on my transformation

Before we get there, I’m going to quickly side track….

I’m no wordsmith, but I do pay attention to words, how I describe myself, and how I talk to myself. And in my books, this is essential. We critique ourselves the hardest, we are mean to us and we don’t even realise it. Honestly, sometimes it takes time to be gentle with yourself, I know this cause I’ve experienced it.

Months ago I met someone had a random chat. We talked about food etc., I said I love pizza. We didn’t get to the fact that I’m also super health conscious in my own ways yet the guy commented, so it’s your cheat day? I stopped and said, I don’t do cheat days, I eat what I want. I don’t cheat on myself. He said: Oh you’re one of those uptight CEO ladies that’s super sensitive about everything. And I went mhmmm, this is how he perceives me. Ok, well that’s fine. Moving on….. I claim the CEO for sure! Amen!

Sensitive? Yes, you should know how you use negative words over your life. Be careful of repeating the same things to yourself over and over. It appears meaningless at the time, but you’re creating that negative chat cycle. You can maintain modesty, but not to the detriment of your integrity and respect for You.

Back to the journey, and my issue with this word. In 2009 I had my first experience with the Law of Attraction. I’ve always been passionate about mental well-being, but I was not aware of this concept and how practical it can be applied in every day life.

After 2 years of practicing the law of attraction I was very tuned in and tapped on with my conscious being. It was great. To an extend, I knew and became aware of what lies beyond as well, in the subconscious and unconscious. My belief system shifted, I felt great. I thought this was it, my journey to discover me has been completed. Haha, see the journey. For clarification, I coupled the law of attraction with my religious beliefs and my knowledge of psychology.

And then came life barriers, The real big ones, and I went, but didn’t I deal with that already?

Haven’t we passed this stage? Why are we here again? I’m not supposed to be here, I’ve done the work.

Naive Charlene, thinking that whatever happened or was dealt with in the past will never return. Thinking that the life will be perfect from here on. Sorry booboo, it doesn’t work that way.

And this is why I have changed my line about being on a journey.

A week ago, my brother asked me, Are you still studying? When will you stop? I said, youshould never close yourself for learning and developing. These words I was saying to him and to myself. You can’t always rely on past lessons and experiences. You have to be open to learn, experience more and more. It’s not about going to school, oh no, your lessons are around you Every Single Day. This Is My Life.

Journeys have a start and end point. My life is continuous. It evolves, it moves, it can never stagnate. It flows, it’s active. When I go on a project, task, travel experience, these are journeys. They have a starting and ending point. But living my lifestyle is forever. You see I can never go back, I can’t have what I used to, I can’t depend on the lady, I smile at the past and I’m excited for the future. But for today, I live, it’s my life to learn and grow into a beautiful oak tree with the most vibrant green leaves.

On that note, it’s also about your interpretation and understanding right? And for me, I’m on my life.

Breathe, Smile, Feel, Love, Give.

Char

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It’s just stuff

What do you hoard? I used to hoard shoes but over the years I’ve drastically reduced my pile. I quickly discovered the I hoard PDF’s of all kind, I used to hoard music files but then I ran out of space on my laptop and my hard drives. And now I’m running out of space in my life hahahaha

It’s hilarious right? Where does this come from? From having nothing to always keeping your arms open to get more?

I think it comes from the fear of losing things, physically and emotionally. We are in a world where so much is going on, we consume more outside things, we care more of the external than the internal. We create beliefs and values based on Stuff on the exterior. And then you’re afraid of missing out, also known as FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out), on important trends happening around you. You’re afraid you’ll be left behind. So you HOLD On to things. You also want to fill up your reserve and your super-reserve haha. And! We want to be ready – prepared at all times. But it doesn’t work that way.

You justify it by saying: I will read it one day, I will listen to it one day, I will wear it one day, I will use it one day. Come on! How many one days have passed and you never thought of that Thing? Mhmm, speaking to myself and the masses right now.

Oh then there’s my favourite – I need it! I want it! Haha, what do you need? How do you know you need it? Hilarious! I’ve lost files in the past, once it’s gone there’s nothing you or any technician can do about it. That’s it!

So sometimes, when I feel a bit overwhelmed I have to clear clutter and get rid of stuff. I clean up or scrub something in order to release tension or whatever. It works for me! I can also praise myself for the all to popular ‘One thing in- Another thing out. I live by this! When I buy a new clothes/shoes/bags, I do get rid of an old item. It’s not everything that I hold on to. In my entire wardrobe I have about 5 clothing items not regularly worn, I’d say that’s a good number. For shoes? Mhm, maybe 3 pairs of heels bought on a sale, that I can get rid of now. I walk daily using public transport etc, heels aren’t comfortable for me.

In China, I have a girlfriend who is on the minimalist lifestyle. I’ve learnt new tricks and adjustments from her. And this led me to my new wardrobe plans, space plans etc.

So far, I’ve gotten rid of my sofa, Yes, I said sofa. It’s one of the things that makes me the laziest. Cause if you have shit to do, you need to pay attention to what’s holding you back. That damn sofa was like a magnet, it draws you in so much, by the time you check your watch your entire day has passed. I’m really serious. So now I camp out on the floor (carpeted and cushioned). Not always comfy, but I’ve had to learn to adjust and make this situation doable. Isn’t that what flexibility is really about?

There’s more to come, this is only the start.

Peace and love,

Char

An empty vessel is a useless vessel. Give wisely.

Being a pillar for someone isn’t easy. Being strong is worse. Showing that you are independent is demanding on you and a guaranteed ticket for others that they can rely on you.

Never saying the words ‘I’m not okay’ is stupid. This is why no one ever reaches out to you cause you are always doing fine through their eyes. And every time they do decide to ask you – you’re always fine. Can you blame them? No! It’s what you asked for- peace and quietness.

As much as I love being a giver, it gets exhausting never being a receiver. I’ve yearned for the tlc and being spoilt, simply because I think I truly deserved it. I’ve learnt the long wait and how to wait some more and more and more. But last year I decided to stop waiting. I felt that I wasn’t moving forward especially mentally. I felt trapped in one place and Ive been living a cycle of events over and over. This became very evident to me.

I’m starting all over – from the very beginning. I’m learning how I can rely and depend on me all over again, regardless of the past. The biggest lesson is learning how to love me and how to love others. But more importantly, I’m learning how to stop, feed my engine first before I give anyone and I mean anyone, from my reserve tank. I just point blankly refuse.

Learning – Growing – Living – Loving

Char

Thank you for clarity.

Human beings are all stubborn. The more exposure to the outside world, the more out of touch we grow with the inside world, this is my opinion based on my experience. The good thing is, there are always opportunities to balance, harmonise and grow more awareness of the inside world. And of course once you have this, you can consciously decide to change or ignore, hahaha.

My birth mother passed away when I was 12. My birth father passed away when I was 26. We didn’t have much stability, but my mom was my rock and armour. I grieved heavily for mom until I was 20. I had no clarity. I questioned God’s actions. Dads death brought a different type of questioning for God and life, a lesson I also only learnt a year ago.

When you’re an only child, you have very little to fall on, to blame, to ask, I’m going to put a LOL here cause this might sound funny. I always used to joke as a child, Who can I blame if I want to pretend, all fingers will always point at me. Anyway, that’s life, preparing you for your future.

And now as a grown woman, things are starting to make so much sense. The clarity is here, in my face, the reasons are here, crystal clear. So much so, that I thank them for making me, introducing me to life and handing me over to humanity at the right times.

And then I remember my mother (who raised me since), in her words: Faithful God fearing people are always under attack from the enemy, I don’t know why. But I have to continue Gods work, even when I get hurt. And now I believe the same, all of the work you’ve done in the past doesn’t mean it’s done, nothing is done. The more battles you overcome, the stronger you become. But because our mentality is start-finish-done mode, that’s why we question future challenges. What we don’t realise is that these things come to you as: Check yourself sister! Do you still remember this one? Are you still on track or have you fallen of? Anyway, these are just some. Our work for ourselves, just like our work for the Higher power and the universe are never ever Done.

The cycle of life will always continue.

And within this cycle, signs of clarity and answers to your questions will arise. We have to pay attention, we have to be vigilant. I now know why God removed them from this earth at the times when it happened. I’ve made peace with it.

Last week, I realised in haste I got all upset and confused. But yesterday, after conversations with 2 beautiful souls I received the answers. Thank you Charlene, for paying attention.

But also remember this, oh man, this is so awesome and relates to my previous post

So yeah, haha I freakin love this shit.

Sorry – Apologies.

Love,

CharChar

Let’s assess this….

Do you ever sit down to ‘checklist’ yourself?

If so, how? Based on what? When? And of course, Why?

I’m sitting in the library studying and all of a sudden I realised how my life has been going.

(Some background info; I had an interesting negative emotional rollercoaster week and at lunch with friends we had a good stimulating chat. There are always lead up events that stimulate shit. If you didn’t know this – know it now. Nothing just happens – nothing!

I started thinking about my physical development, my mental- emotional development, my life stages, my personal growth, my life experiences, my losses and gains (losses first cause they teach me lessons, gains are the rewards for doing You) etc.

Now I’m at the stage of evaluating how I make my decisions, what motivates it? What lead to it? How important is it? Did I evaluate and think of alternatives, more importantly did I pray about it? Did I consult important people?

All of the above matters.

And then I noticed and realised a pattern, one that I’ve claimed I’ve eliminated, yet it is still full in existence.

So I’ve Worked worked worked for a better tomorrow my whole life. Worked so much that I keep moving from plan to plan, goal to goal, drive myself like crazy cause I need to be bla bla bla…. and guess what? I follow similar techniques. Sorry girl, it’s time that you realise that these techniques in 2018 with your current lifestyle just won’t work. Check yourself real well baby girl.

And then boom! Lightbulb went off. My dear Char char, you can’t jump from one thing to another. A year ago I made a life changing decision – still in the process of completion. Two weeks ago I made another decision – quite a big one. But what I realise now was making decision no. 2 came out of fear, not having enough faith. Faith in God, faith in myself and my future. I still want to do it but right now I have to complete the first one. I have to sit down and evaluate my decision a little more, because I need to take many things into consideration. Seriously, I can’t just drop no.1 for no. 2! If I want to build the habit of completion I have to live it. Ay ya ya! Stop, Slow down and smell the roses along the way. Just take a deep breathe in and out.

You are following the same fast-paced rushed style from the past. You claim to relax but you’re so stressed that you’re studying in the last month of exam – after having months to prepare (honest confession).

So I obviously need to improve my time management and less fear about some things in life.

And another thing, after having this way of thinking for 38 years doesn’t mean I can 100% change my brain within a few months. Take Your Time. Why are you even Rushing?

Take Your Time to enjoy your freedom, take your time to enjoy you, take your time to be you. The rest WILL come.

Anyway, that’s me – today – now.

Charchar

My heart is singing

Have you had this experience? Today I made a really big decision. One that I’ve longed for, for years.

You know that time when you wanted to do it but but but but, all of that stopped you. And then it’s almost out of nowhere you change and take a leap of faith. And boy am I taking a massive step in faith, in God, in me, and in my future existence on this earth.

If it wasn’t for Gods protection, His Holy Spirit, my family, my strong will and endurance, the universe sending the right signs and people, I have no idea where I would’ve been right now.

I have them, they know it, I know it, God knows it.

And today, my heart is singing.

Excited, nervous, excited excited, little nervous yet Very Excited!

Charlene, I love you.

Marching on, marching forward.

Believe in You, learn to get to know You.

The hustle and bustle

It’s after 11pm and I didn’t have dinner. I mismanaged the time tonight because I was ‘busy’ with something else. Even ordinary laidback people can’t always keep up with their schedule, life, work etc. The very same goes for me. And when I F up, I admit to it and try not to be too hard on myself.

However, I WILL not quit.

Oh Hell No!

At the same time, this body is my temple, it is my responsibility. So, had I not meal planned, I would’ve grabbed something outside on my way home from gym.

And what ‘ good’ can you grab at 10pm in the evening? [Chuckle]. I can grab something outside on the weekend but I can’t do it every day. No no no. Always make sure you keep some real food in the house. Start today for a better tomorrow.

This is a small portion from the meal prep meal below:

I’m going to hit the sack at around 1:30-2:00am, I want to finish some tasks before I start my new day. Let me get onto that now. Good night my lovelies [Joyful][Grin][Grin]

You deserve the best!

And that’s what everyone says, ‘you deserve the best!’ Whose best? Yours or mine? Now let’s talk about mine since I’m being spoken to.

April was my birthday month. Traditionally birthdays are celebrated in a way that brings people to you, the build up excitement and enthusiasm and of course the anticipation for the clock to reach the hour. It’s invigorating! This time around, I did it exactly my way. One things for sure, You can never hide it, and that’s not my intention at all. I truly believe it is a day that should be celebrated, but I’m all about the heart and minds feelings, connecting and syncing together with the body. Lets see, dad says because of all the Zumba, today you can eat as you wish then you can do your exercise.

Brother says, did you tell your coworkers? That’s the best way to receive a gift. Mom says, treat yourself girl! She knew what I was on about. And luckily for me on that afternoon my last class got cancelled, meaning Freedom!

I decided to use the entire afternoon for me and I kept my special trip towards the end of April.

Birthday business line up:

-At lunch time went to the nail shop for a mani and pedi,

-Then picked up a bunch of sunflowers,

– After that I stopped to buy a dress for the white party – done! (Pic taken at the party below)

-Lastly, I went for light lunch, cold noodles, just the way I like them.

-Evening time I made a birthday platter, poured a class of bubbly and enjoyed the cool breeze on my balcony.

Now that I totally deserved! And I loved every minute of it.

It was a splendid day, best choices made to start the new Year!

But wait, how did the day start? Like any other, with prayers and thanks to God and the universe. And it ended this way too.

Life is bold, bright and Beaaaauuuyiful!

PS! This post has been in my drafts for exactly one month since my birthday and to finally release it today is sentimentally profound. One of the ‘nicest’ personal posts I’ve blogged for myself. So exciting, really. Just finishing off the story brought back the memories and the butterflies.

Joy and Inner Peace,

C

I binged again – then I bounced back

This is a rather old post but for my personal growth I have to do it. Last week I had a really tough day, one of those that no one wants to experience.

I’ve been controlling my eating habits really well, even to the point that I know how useless snacking can be sometimes. I’m serious, we don’t always have to pop food into our mouths just because. So one thing I experiment with (learnt from Deepak Chopra) is to put my hand on my stomach and say, how hungry am I? Is this hunger or thirst? Is this huger attached to something that occurred or is it real? This easy technique has helped me a lot so far. I’d say I follow this 97% of the time, especially weekdays when I’m at home.

So let me take this minute to praise myself, I’ve come a long way when it comes to emotional eating, the fact that I can consciously admit the uselessness of some food items when I’m in a good mood is great evidence to me. And just like I stopped adding the sugar in my coffee, on a random day, so too I will stop the unnecessary snacking. It will come.

Back to the binge day, I didn’t know how to control my emotions. I decided between getting out of the house (which could lead to all sorts of temptations), and taking the 2 potatoes and roasting them in the oven. While I was sitting and contemplating what to do, I was munching on my students small sweet rice cake snacks, let’s say 5 of those. Mhm mmm.

And here they are,

Looks delicious right? It wazzzzz! First I boiled them, then peeled, sprinkled some coconut oil, herbs & straight into the oven. (Gotta love my toaster oven). I didn’t have to eat all that potatoes but I did. Slowly, elegantly and sipping my last glass of red. While I was eating I calmly said, ‘you know this is too much’ and then came that motherly voice, ‘make sure you finish your food! Don’t waste’. Now as I’m writing this, I’m like damn! That mother voice always popping out trying to kill my buzz. Next time I’m going to kill it!

Anyway, this is what I know:

1. Bad experiences can arise;

2. Don’t just act, try to place yourself in a calm space, then make your decision;

3. F……. cry it out! Just let it out;

4. Eventually you have to turn to someone and vent a little, choose your dialogue carefully – not the full story. ( unless you’re ok with the listener);

5. Start thinking of your way forward now that you know what you know;

6. And lastly, the famous one, what will I do next time this kind of experience happens?

it’s never easy at the beginning, but along the road I’ve become better at managing myself and my situations. And……. I’m still in love with life.

Written with love,

Char

What is Healthy Living In China?

A post that is long overdue, finally! Any project owner, creator, innovator and shape shifter has to sit down and define what they want their name to stand for. This is mine.

As an individual who thrives on human development, growth and inspiration from ordinary people, I’ve always had the desire to be in the ‘help’ industry. By this I mean the area that focuses on human improvement, connecting the main elements of your wellbeing, in order to live a more fulfilling lifestyle.

The name speaks for my current place of residence as well, I’m in a city called Guangzhou, which is in the South Of China. As an expat, finding a healthy lifestyle can be very challenging, well for any busy person it can be difficult. We are in a world of fast moving and shaking, where it is almost a shame to stop for a minute to have a glance at your reflection. I’m here to say hell no to that.

I believe in the little joys of life, in life and around your life. We can start small and grow bigger, until you reach your actualisation. And in most cases, there’ll be another one.

Back to the point, my goal is to build and grow the Healthy Living In China brand as a wellness brand that focuses on key areas as reflected in this image.

To me, this is what defines wellness. My personal area of specialisation is the Emotional, Spiritual and Intellectual areas. I find these to be the most neglected in the health industry. It’s like the ‘take 5 min a day’ to feed your soul, really? Why only 5minutes? So for the rest of the 1440minutes in a day only 5 are good enough to care for your soul? Mhm, doesn’t sound quite right. So this is me. I care deeply about this neglected area.

With all that being said, I learn and teach myself every day. And I try to make it as effortless as possible, because just like everyone, I’m a busy person too.

Through this, I hope for someone to experience a lightbulb moment, Aha moment, reminder, reflection or deep provoking thoughts. My posts are thoughts and reflections about life, observations and human development. I’m here to share with love.

Enjoy reading and discovering HLIC!